Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence


Effective communication can be achieved if individuals have good listening, talking, and emotional connections with others. Effective communication also helps in establishing effective relationships and boosting people’s self-esteem. Self-esteem is something that can be natured and grows as people experience the external world. Thus, a person’s self-esteem is significantly affected by the way that person interacts with others. People have the potential of contributing to the general happiness, confidence, and energy of people they meet. There are two categories of people in such situations: ego boosters and ego busters. Ego boosters use their goodwill and optimism to generate acceptance, warmth, and an improved sense of self-esteem in others. On the other hand, ego busters contribute to reducing other people’s sense of self-esteem and their perception of their self-worth. In several instances, I have been an ego booster as well as an ego buster.

Ego Booster

My best friend was almost giving up on her studies because of self-doubts and low self-esteem. I decided to visit her one of the weekends and talk to her. I let her know that I loved and accept her. Since I am a good listener, I picked up on her values about herself. Then gave her authentic examples of how she could exude these values. I also told her how much more value-driven she was than other people. I listened to her and put together a few words that enabled her to know she is valued and appreciated. Using a few word choices, I changed her perception of studies and how they look at the world. I also provided her with examples of her successes in the past and that of other people who had self-doubts. After talking to her, she gained confidence and believed that she could do well in her studies.

Ego buster

At some point, I was also an ego buster. I am not a person who sees people with huge egos the same way as most people. To have a strong belief that you are the greatest thing that ever lived is a pretty powerful shield against the world. People with huge egos make significant changes happen because they never doubt themselves. During a school reading event, I told a man he was reading like a girl while he thought Casanova. I was not trying to burst his ego, but obviously, it did. The man was overly concerned with his appearance, constantly and bragging about the cost of his clothes and how much money he spent on meals. He was also bragging about wearing a lot of jewelry and having only female friends.

There is more to it than this list of attributes, but he wondered out loud why he was not getting dates. I told him that he was a selfish, self-centered young boy who only cared about himself. This statement crashed his ego, and I felt terrible. When it comes down to a choice between being honest and being kind, I drift more towards honest. If no one ever tells a person about their behavior, they cannot make good decisions. However, it is not fun to be the bearer of that sort of news. Eventually, he rejected what I said and stated that I was trying to be mean.


The EQ assessment shows that I am practically an expert in observing, recognizing, and expressing feelings in  myself and in other people. My skills in emotional intelligence area help me understand how others feel and identify their emotions. For me to be able to connect with someone in the first place, there is something I yearn for which I possess or can offer. Being able to render such service and help makes the connection possible.

One of my strengths in emotional intelligence that attribute to my role in my ego boost example is active listening. It takes two or more people; one is speaking, the other is listening; they say the essential communication skill is the listener. As a good listener, I could catch my friend’s attention and understand how she was feeling. For me to connect with someone emotionally, I tend to listen to those issues and filter facts, fiction, lies to get to the point of the matter. A good listener is one of the qualities of highly empathetic people.

I am also empathetic.  Having been a good listener, empathetic people are always caring and supportive; they always want to be at the point of your needs; people like these are easy to connect to. I could feel and understand my friend’s pain and at least make attempts to make her feel better; for me to establish a good connection, my empathetic skill had to be in handy. Nonetheless, I am good at connecting with people easily. Many people are going through so many problems that individuals cannot even listen to them talk about their problems.

In most cases, the least I can do is connect with them and be excellent in any way you can. My act of kindness often goes a very long way. I usually connect with people in so many ways, short-term or long-term, depending on their needs. Most people crave connections to boost their egos.


I also have some weaknesses from my EQ assessment attributed to my role in my ego burst example. It is hard to hold on to some comments, especially when I see flaws in other people. I also like judging others by the way they look, how they talk, and their behaviors towards other people. We all come from different backgrounds, have been raised in different cultures by different parents with different values and morals. Because we have grown up with different role models, we have been treated differently as growing up. All that makes up our behaviors, mind conditioning and shapes the people that we are today. We get used to our habits and culture, and sometimes it is hard to look outside that box. That is why I often find it hard to relate to some people.


In conclusion, I have been an ego booster and ego buster in different instances. These behaviors have been contributed by my strengths and weaknesses evident from the emotional assessment. To be an ego booster, an individual needs to practice being empathic towards others and choose to understand people rather than judge them because they are different. In that way, an opening will start to be formed in us, and in time we will not find it difficult to connect with others.

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